Part 3 of our relationship series: Married couple Traymayne and Elaine Young.
by Tramayne and Elaine Young
We met a few years ago. We often times would sit on the bus and discuss our lives. At the time there was no intention of pursing a relationship. However, she was the first real friend of the opposite sex that I had at the time. Every other woman either had another motive, or I had another motive with her. I felt safe around her, and was always eager to be in her presence.
We pursued a relationship together without much godly counsel therefore we had gone thorough more than necessary amount of trials in our relationship. Our idea of courtship was so flustered. It’s safe to say we had no clue what we were doing. For me (Tramayne), even though Elaine was the best thing that had happened to me at the time. I didn’t know how to treat her. Which was apparent in my actions. I was constantly allowing others into our space that didn’t belong. Further, being unstable in what I wanted and how to handle things. The only thing I was certain of was that I wanted our relationship to remain.
As time went forward I (Elaine) became pregnant with our first child Christina, however we still where not married. We later decided to attend church together. (Tramayne) or really Elaine decided and I followed. While I was reluctant at the time to reestablish my relationship with God, I most certainly wasn’t going to prevent her from doing so. It turned out to be a great decision. Through Christ Elaine saved my life. After rededicating my life to Christ God began a work in our relationship. Thus leading to our marriage. In all honesty it is only through God’s grace that we are still together. When we met and while we where dating Christ was not the central focus of our relationship. There are some people who get involved in these relationships and they really are not meant for each other. Even the ones that are meant to be are often separated because of the natural sin in us that can really destroy a relationship if we don’t let God process us. Buy through His grace we met, said yes to His processing in the nick if time, and where able to wed.
As for where we are currently learning that a healthy marriage foundation is built by us cultivating a healthy relationship with Christ as individuals. We are learning that the majority of our relationship has been governed by trial and error but moving forward it is our responsibility to seek Godly wisdom, and to be led by the standard of Christ. We are also learning that it is important to know that God is ultimately who we vowed our lives to when we wed and that our marriage can survive only if we are the bride and bridegroom of Christ. Simply put, Christ comes before the spouse; in order to be an excellent spouse, you have to first strive to be an excellent friend of God because it affects every aspect of the relationship.
We are now in our third year of marriage with two beautiful children. Each year has presented new blessings and new lessons. It’s safe to say God has been teaching us more about each other every year. In addition, how he wants us to treat each other. To some it may sound strange to say “ I want God in every part of my marriage “. Because, that would involve seeking him about the most miniscule things. Or perhaps what we consider miniscule such as; what to where, personal hygiene, physical contact etc. But the truth is God desires to be apart of these things.
We’ve been asking God more and more to show us how he feels concerning one another. The bible is filled with stories of God expressing his love for us. How does God love your spouse? Wouldn’t it be safe to say that you should love and care for your spouse the same way? Or, at least attempt to do so. God is building our love story in a way that we couldn’t imagine. Nonetheless, one thing we can both agree on. Is that we wouldn’t have made it this far without God.
Two people being together is a tough task. Every marriage will have its rough patches. Rough patches are necessary to bring too people closer. They are necessary to test love, faithfulness, trust, and all other needed characteristics to sustain such a beautiful thing for a long time. But in marriage we also can see the similarities of our individual relationships with God. Just as you are tested individually a union must be tested. We are blessed to say that God has brought us through and is continuing to do so. Our union is beautiful because the love of God is beautiful.